White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
