if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize