last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
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and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
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Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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