just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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