he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
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You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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