So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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