That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
