The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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