after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
