I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
