Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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