I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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