i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
