Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
