I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
