You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
