Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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