She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
