I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My pussy is not your playground.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
