just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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