Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
