i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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