No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK