Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.