As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit