OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
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He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
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Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.