Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.