There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
