you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
