i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
