i don't like sucking hair
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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