My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
