He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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