Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
