so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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