It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
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You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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