shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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