69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
ttyl tear gas
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
