he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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