So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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