I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I am mentally ready for anal.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
