So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
