i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
