i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
