I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
