I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We need a shit load of segways right now
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
