I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize