i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
