Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
