We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
