is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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