What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
