YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I cockslap morals
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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