but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
