Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
