Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
