saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
love makes seman taste better
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
