I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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