there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize