If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.