My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
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just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul