I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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